Paul & Janeen
250 Comments Paul and Janeen met in January 2012 – it was deep love and friendship on the first date.
I thought he was interesting,empathetic, complex and quirky. I was a hippie in the 60’s and 70’s and he was exactly what I would have chosen for a mate as we both had the same values.
Paul was a very complex and interesting person and he filled my dreams that I had lost – his sensitivity, empathy – and joy of life.
We embarked on a journey that was so true. He would read poetry to me in the afternoons, pack picnic lunches to go watch birds, go bowling, play pool, go to the art museums, dancing in the middle of the day to Bobby Darin, creating a home etc.. We were like teenagers in love and together 24/7. We both proclaimed that we were both the love of each other’s lives – which was a gift especially when we were in our 60’s.
Our bliss was halted on December 15, 2015 when his neurologist called and told us that he had Parkinson’s Disease. We went to Mayo Clinic and he received the news that it was Lewy Body Dementia – a form of Parkinson’s.
Thus we went into speed mode to get as much of the bucket list accomplished – we did not get too far – but we always had each other backs through my back surgeries and his dementia. I was his memory and he was my back.
We came to California for the weather and just buy time for each other. We sometimes would cry about how much we would miss each other.
He died in our bed on June 25 at 2:14 pm. He was with me and his sons. He looked beautiful and his left cheek dimple was prominent – which told me that he was at home and was happy about himself and his life.
I want to wish him peace and the realization of the force he was and still is.
“Good night, good night! parting is such sweet sorrow, That I shall say good night till it be morrow.”
His ashes have been spread at Montrose Beach where he was a lifeguard and started Vegetarian Times.
I love coming to your house – there is so much love and respect in this home.
Paul was strong
Janeen needed strength
Paul needed to twist
Janeen needed to stay as straight as possible
Paul told jokes that came out of nowhere
Janeen laughed gleefully
Paul reached out and held her hand
Janeen reacted just like it was the first time
Paul looked at her like she was the only one that mattered
Janeen appeared as though she was the luckiest girl in the world
Paul grew weaker
Janeen grew stronger
Paul was preparing for his next phase
And so was Janeen
Paul loved Janeen
Janeen loved Paul
One of the most loving and romantic things I have seen is a couple practicing yoga together. I have had the opportunity to see Janeen and Paul sharing their yoga practice since last year. I feel honored to have been able to witness the love shared by a couple through support, care, pain, tears, medication – and I can’t even begin to count the number of nurses around. Many of these things do not exemplify a happy home, however it is a home full of love and determination. A home that Janeen created to offer the best of care for the man she loves during his final days. In those days, Paul received love, care, comfort and the occasional glass of watered down wine – to keep him from sneaking out to the 7-11. I am honored to have been able to know Paul Obis. I am honored to know that he was loved and knew love in his lifetime.
Wonderful photos! Thanks for sharing. I remember the boys when they were babies … handsome young men now. Wow.
Being graced with the opportunity to witness two beautiful souls co-exist, co-create, and co-love in their home has been a true inspiration. It has helped to transform my personal views and belief of what a union and marriage can be and I am forever grateful. Thank you to Janeen and Paul for inviting me into your home and lives. Your memories will live on in my heart and I’m sure in the lives you’ve touched. With gratitude…Me
Paul’s virtual memorial had my eyes water; such a precious life a true hero and an inspiration Paul “is”. He touched so many people (me, being one of them) and I’m forever grateful. Thank you so much for sharing. Doing this was not easy I’m sure but the impact it made is powerful.
Paul Obis, founder of the Vegetarian Times, has died at 66.
Obis died of Lewy body dementia, a disease of the brain that is a leading cause of dementia, the Chicago Sun-Times reported.
He died in his California home on June 25, according to an obituary in the Chicago Tribune.
A Chicago-native, Obis was born and raised in Maywood.
He founded the Vegetarian Times in 1974 in an attempt to raise awareness and normalize meatless diets. His first article was headlined, “Being a Vegetarian Is Never Having to Say You’re Sorry — to a Cow.”
When he started the magazine, Obis hand-delivered the publication from his bicycle, according to the Sun-Times. It quickly grew in readership, with 10,000 readers by 1977.
The magazine has since gone through many different owners, one of them being his close friend and fellow vegetarian, Fred Rogers (“Mister Rogers”). Rogers became a minority investor in the publication in the late 1980s and eventually helped Obis sell it to Cowles Media for $10 million.
Today, the magazine is owned by Active Interest Media, a publisher of niche, enthusiast magazines. It changed its name to Vegetarian Today and focuses mostly on vegetarian-friendly recipes.
An obituary for Obis was published in a Chicago Tribune publication on Sunday. It read: “He was one of the most forward thinking, creative and intellectually energetic people. He was brilliant, eccentric, a sweet gentle soul and a humanitarian.”
So glad you put this together, Janeen. Really nice effort and so endearing. Love to you both!
Heather Taylor
So sorry for your loss and such a wonderful giving person who changed so many.
What a fascinating man. What a wonderful albeit too short life together.
I subscribed to Vegetarian Times until it’s last print edition. I was heart broken when it went all digital!
Thank you for sharing. And ending it with my very favorite Ram Das quote was perfect.
Leslie Stocker
A Dialogue on NPR in Chicago
SHAPIRO: One of my favorite obituaries of yours from this past year was for the founder of Vegetarian Times magazine, Paul Obis.
O’DONNELL: Yes.
SHAPIRO: And there’s a great anecdote at the end of this remembrance.
O’DONNELL: After about 20 years of vegetarianism, he had a little change of heart while attending a food festival called Taste of Chicago. One of his children had eaten a beef sandwich, didn’t finish it, tossed it in the trash. And Paul Obis’ wife said, you shouldn’t waste food. He took it out of the trash, took a bite, and that was it. According to his wife, he said, man, after 20 years of tofu, this is good.
Janeen he sounds a wonderful and interesting man ..have just read his life story …incredible principles especially in a time that wasn’t as sympathetic as it’s becoming towards vegetarianism …
Thank you for donating the Vegetarian Times I magazines – and for creating the interactive memorial. Paul made a tremendous contribution to the modern vegetarian movement. Be well.
He did a great service for humanity and deserves to be remembered.
You were lucky to be married to him.
My eyes are full of tears and I am heartbroken.
What a lovely memoriam. Thank you for providing this. I have a vegetarian times cookbook that I’ve used for countless recipes over the years,and gave to others who were curious about meat free dishes.
Janeen , you walked him home well. Thank you for loving him so well.
What an awesome honor to your husband ……..prayers for you and your family
He seemed like a very decent, kind man.
I’m sorry for your loss x
Your husband was a real pioneer hero, Janeen.
Thank you for sharing Janeen. What a fabulous life. I am so sorry for your tremendous loss.
So sorry for your loss. Parkinson’s is such a cruel disease.
Paul sounds like a wonderful man x
A great loss for the Vegetarian community.
I used to get that magazine!!
What a beautiful tribute to him.❤️
oh Captain, my captain, RIP.
How wonderful to read this Janeen and so sad also. What a wonderful man. I hope you are doing ok .and thank you for posting this.
Your husband is definitely worth celebrating! Thank you for introducing us to him. His transition surely leaves a hole in the hearts and lives of many. May that pain soon turn into smiles with expressions of fond memories. ❤️
I can’t really say it any better than Debra so I will be content to agree with her sentiments and simply express my personal gratitute for Paul as well. The years I spent working at VT with Paul and the gang was incredibly life-changing for me. Peace, peace, peace, my friend.
What a wonderful way to remember him. ❤️
I too loved VT! Interned there for two semesters in college. Such good memories 🙂
Thank you for sharing this beautiful memorial. Please accept my condolences on your loss. I wish you the peace and comfort of the happy memories you made together.
What a beautiful person, and a beautiful love story ……
Janeen, your Virtual Memorial is touching… such a wonderful way to honor his memory and your life together. Thank you so much for sharing it. I look forward to the book and movie. ❤️
Thank you for sharing the beautiful “love” story of your soul mate, Paul Obis. What an inspiring man he was. Our world is a better place because of people like him. My thoughts and prayers are with you, Janeen and Paul’s family.
I am so sorry for your loss I read some of the virtual memorial comments they were all so touching. Paul sounds like an amazing person. I was in my early 20’s when the doctors first said Parkinson’s and they did not have the meds they have now. I ignored the diagnosis and hid my tremors for 20 years with the help of my psychiatrist who prescribed Xanax to help with anxiety and my tremors. Then antidepressants for depression. Now I can no longer hide my tremors and other symptoms and I can no longer work. I am happy I did not pursue a PD doctor for me ignorance was bliss for many years. The meds now help with tremors but the side effects are bad too. I read an article in Brain and Life that scientists know more about black holes than they do the brain. I lost the love of my life to cancer 16 years ago and I miss him every single day. He died when he was 39. My sincere condolences to you
Your husband was a great person!!Sorry for your loss!!
I have been a vegetarian for 38.5 years. I later transitioned to veganism. I remember subscribing to and reading Vegetarian Times years ago. Awesome that you donated those magazines to Brown University. Your husband did so much good to spread the knowledge about healthy plant based eating!
Our sympathies for your loss. We appreciate all that Paul did for the cause!
Hero!
Sorry for your loss , the site is beautiful. Thanks for sharing his memories with us 🙏🏻🙏🏻🙏🏻♥️
Sorry for your loss. May his soul rest in peace.
I’m very sorry for your loss. ❤️😢
Oh no he was wonderful!
So sorry for your loss 💔
RIP Paul! 🙏🙏
❤️🙏🏼
So sorry for your loss😪
So sorry for your loss 💔
We were on a tour to Patagonia and he developed a “fan” club as most of the people were doctor’s, bankers, etc. and Paul was unique and obviously the brightest because he was “interesting”. Some were fawning over him – It was great – his self esteem shot to 85%. He and I were the only members of his bucket list tour through Tauck that was googlable.
Paul had been very depressed about his diagnosis. He hid his depression from me but after looking over e mails – he was sad. Somehow, I thought that he did not realize it, because he never complained. I thought that if we carried on and did something every day – he was kept from the pain. I was wrong. It breaks my heart that he did feel it.
I just hope that when he started going into his very last stages that he felt glory.
Thanks for sharing. You were such a great support for him.
I thought of Paul’s very fun humor today. We had a ball creating story’s every day from going to Cuba to planning Thanksgiving for all of the homeless people of Chicago. We would plan every last detail – from fund raising or whatever. I guess we would call that his bucket list…
I remembered about 3 weeks before he died, he was in our bed and the barber came to do his hair. Paul claimed that he did not want a haircut. I was pushing him because I thought it would make him feel better. After nudging him for a few minutes – He looked at the barber and me and said.”Oh hell janeen, let the undertaker do it”. I laughed. It was funny and so pure. Humor that came from the gut!
His humor was infectious, precious, and priceless.
We took Tango Lessons every Wednesday night and our teacher use to call us “Don Quixote and Dulcima” because we were such and interesting couple and were always willing to play along.
My therapist told me that “we were the luckiest couple in the world because we had a grand and exquisite love. I wish that for persons, especially the persons over 60!
Don’t think for a second that when President Obama and his wife were dancing the TANGO that you were not immediately in my thoughts!!!! Only they weren’t in a swimming pool!!!
Doesn’t getting back to reality stink? I would much rather see glaciers and discuss life … Instead of being glued to electronic medical records…. I hope you are both doing better, and have that trip to Cuba all lined up!
Cheers! Laura
Just wanted you to know we were thinking of you and Paul – I tell you the STAR of the trip photo in front of Perrito Moreno glacier had to be Paul! Wearing that Brazil shirt (short sleeved, no less) while the rest of us were bundled up in 5 layers of outerwear!!!Anyway, we hope you both are doing well and had a safe journey home. We looked for you on Monday, but you were likely doing Tango in the pool again….we went on this city tour with 50 of our closest friends….but it was interesting. My feet were killing me after it was over – that’s for sure!
Take care and know how much we enjoyed getting to know you both – Stay strong!!!!
Thank you for the information and very sorry for your loss and the world’s loss of this kind soul.
Janeen,
Thank you so much for sharing!! I spent more than an hour looking at all the pictures and reading the comments. Paul was a very special person and my only wish is that I had known him when he was well but very grateful we were able to spent time with the two of you on his last trip. He certainly made an impact on my life with the Vegetarian Times magazine in the early 90’s. We also had a good friend in Florida who died of Lewy Body Dementia who was such a kind, outgoing, vibrant person. It is a terrible disease and very sad.
My very best to you.
Nan
The Dutchman’s not the kind of man to keep his thumb jammed in the dam
that hold his dreams in
but that’s a secret only Margaret knows
when Amsterdam is golden in the morning Marget brings him breakfast
she believes him
he thinks the tulips bloom beneath the snow
he’s mad as he can be, but Margaret only see that sometimes
sometimes she shes her unborn children in his eyes
CHORUS
let us go to the banks of the ocean
where the wall rise above the Zeider Zee
long ago, I used to be a young man
but dear Margaret remembers that for me
the Dutchman still wears wooded shoes
his cap and coat are patched with love that Margaret sewn in
sometimes he thinks he’s still in Rotterdam
he watches tugboats down canals
and calls out to them when he thinks he knows the captain
’till Margaret comes to take him home again
through unforgiving streets that trip him though she holds his arm
sometimes he thinks that he’s alone and calls her name CHORUS
the windmills whirl the winter in, she winds his muffler tighter
they sit in the kitchen
some tea with whiskey keeps away the dew
he sees her for a moment, calls her name, she makes his bed up
singing some ould love somg
she learned it when the tune was very new
he hums a line or two, they hum together in the night
the Dutchman falls asleep and Margater blows the candle out.
That’s one of John Goodman’s songs that Paul used to tease me about listening to over and over. Paul lacked my enthusiasm for John Prine too, although he did introduce me to his brother and gave me free tickets. He was strictly a Frank Zappa man.
He was a great Oak Parker, and a nice guy.
I worked with him on a rental property with the Housing Center.
Sorry for your loss. He sounds like a great guy. I’m sure he had an impact on the world. Maybe made it a little easier for me and my kids to be vegetarians.
Sorry to hear this.. I received the Veg Times mag for years..and have been a veg for over 48 years…may he rest in peace.. my condolences to you and to his family too..
Omg…I was just thinking about him yesterday…..I was remembering the original vegetarian times magazine that was my bible when I went vegetarian and then vegan. I was also at the vegvfest in Pennsylvania when he announced he had sold the magazine….So I had just seen a copy of vegetarian times at the bookstore and noted how absolutely it was nothing like the original and I wondered what had happened to Mr Obis and here it is… I am so sorry. He was a great man ahead of his time.
Paul would go to the bank to get $2.00 bills, so that when he needed to tip someone, he would have a special bill to give them.
He would also leave an envelope in our hotel room filled with monies and a note thanking them for their services from housekeeping.
Remembering this is recognizing the empathy and grace of this wonderful human being.
I enjoyed reading about your husband Janeen. A true pioneer!
Beautifully written. I’m so sorry for your loss. Paul did so much for vegetarianism and veganism and many other causes his work will live on. Thank you for sharing with us. ❣️
Thank you for letting us into your heart.
A fitting tribute to a loved one.
I went to Brown University and I didn’t know they have a Nutrition and Environmental Department. Thanks for this post.
Thanks Janeen. It was nice to go through Paul’s timeline. I never knew all of that about him. What a cool guy.
Thank you for sharing. I wasn’t aware of his passing. Sending my condolences. I am very thankful for the magazine Vegetarian Times. I had a two year subscription, which was very helpful in my transition into vegetarianism at that time. Again thank you for sharing, especially the link to the letter. He had a very big heart and dedicated person, who had a real sense on matters.
Sincere condolences Janeen. He was a rare and deeply appreciated gift to the world.
Sorry for your loss. Thanks much for sharing. It was a beautiful Memorial.
What a lovely tribute to your exceptional husband. So very sorry for your loss.❤️
What a great influence he had on so many people. I subscribed to Vegetarian Times magazine for many years. Sorry for your loss.
So sorry for your loss Janeen. Thank you for donating his work, so that he may continue to help other’s.
Janeen……it’s obvious that you loved him and thought the world of him. I went to link and read the pages that you shared with us. Thank you for doing so. His legacy lives on💕 Peace and love 💕
What a nice tribute . Sending good positive vibes your way. Stay strong
rest his soul…thanks for sharing
Wonderful tribute here Janeen.
Very sorry to read of Paul’s passing. It was a loss for the community of those who enjoy kinder diets. My most sincere condolences to you and the rest of his friends, colleagues and loved ones.
Very sad news, Paul Obis the founder of Vegetarian Times is dying. In 1974 he produced 300 copies of a 4 pg handout which he distributed on his bike. It eventually became a multi-million dollar glossy magazine which has saved countless lives by getting hundreds of thousands of people to go vegetarian.
Aaahhh Janeen he made a huge difference. Look how popular vegans and our food is now. I wish I could have met you two in person. The VT magazine was my only connection to the vegi world and The Farm where I ordered my TVP.
Nice to have you as a friend. Keep thinking of loving thoughts of Paul. 💜
My very first vegetarian magazine was Vegetarian Times way back many many years ago. It started me on my journey to learn about plant based eating. Thank you, Paul Obis! May you Rest In Peace.
So sorry for your loss. Lewy Body Dementia sometimes leaves the personality, we experienced that with my mother-in law. She was a nurse and continued to take care of patients (visible only to her). While caregiving her I searched for any thread that would fasten her life to us, eating a high vegetable smoothie daily. I love this way of life and I am so grateful for the early pioneers who recognized our food crisis.
Thanks for sharing this Janeen, it helps to know better this man who was important to my son in law that I unfortunately never got to know. Well done
A wonderful tribute to a pioneering mind ~
They had a grand and exquisite love….
They were so cute together.
I wanted to let you know, ever since I read through the page I’ve been very moved by the quote you included:
One of the secrets of happiness, I think, is to see the extraordinary in the ordinary: to enjoy a simple meal; to appreciate a sunrise; even to marvel that the light goes on when you flip the switch … The value of things going right is never appreciated so much as when they go wrong
I have literally been reflecting on that quote at least once a day, and it has truly brightened each and every day of mine, and made me relax and find a moment of pleasure no matter what else is going on. I have been actively seeking out those special little moments that I may have otherwise ignored. Thank you very much to both you and him for sharing this quote.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=nLFQGRNedTw
This is one of many songs that we truly appreciated together –
There were many but this one always stopped us dead in our tracks and caused gazing into each other’s eyes.
I am so very very sorry to have learned of Paul’s passing while visiting the Proviso East website for our 50th reunion. Your tribute and photos are beautiful; a lasting memory for all who pass through this site. His sons are awesome. They are a part of Paul that will continue through life. I know that Paul is with the Almighty and at peace watching over you daily. Paul was a really wonderful guy in high school. I am no Miss Popularity but Paul was always, kind, nice, fun and always had a smile and made me laugh! funny how one can go back into the corners of ones mind and see it all again as Im sure you have done so many many times. Im glad that God gave you each another to cherish always. Thank you for sharing something so difficult. He will be remembered at our 50th reunion. Thinking of you, with kind regards, Marja J. Lawrecki (Tymann)
I have lost two husbands to cancer and I would do anything to ease your pain.
Paul Obis legacy is on
https://www.pinterest.com/paulobis/
Thanks for sharing. I was not aware of this. May his memory be for a blessing.
My sincere condolences
What a lovely memorial page you’ve created — and so many have contributed to — Janeen! Paul hired me at Vegetarian Times in 1989 and I learned to be an editor on the job. I had terrific colleagues, some of whom have found and commented on this timeline, and Paul was a quirky, sincere and generous boss. I remember that when Cowles purchased the magazines, we gradually (metaphorically) traded in our Birkenstocks for Donna Karan pumps. Paul’s departure as publisher hastened that change. We became more of a meatless-eating magazine, not a lifestyle publication that embraced the many ethical, environmental, nutritional and other reasons people chose a vegetarian diet and explored them in depth. After a little while, I left for another small magazine with a publisher who was still more passionate about good journalism that serves an audience than about profits alone. Veg Times was a great magazine and Paul was a great man. My condolences to you and to the whole family, as well as all who knew and loved Paul.
Janeen, thank you for writing and sharing the interactive page. Paul certainly sounds like someone who was very special and helped so many.
Hi, Thanks for sending this. I had not known this at the time I sent the friend request, but I did find out only just this past weekend. I’m very sorry to hear about your loss. Paul was a good man. He helped me and Jim Mason start Animals’ Agenda magazine and was very supportive of our work overall, as were we with his. Doug Moss
Sorry for your loss of Paul, Janeen. He had a remarkable life, and you made a difference throughout. Perhaps most at the very end, and it sounds like he had a wonderfully graceful passing. Here’s to increased awareness and knowledge about this far-too under-diagnosed condition: may a part of his legacy be to increase awareness, as you’re now doing. Strength to you!
Thank you for sharing your husband’s life. I can only relate, I don’t have much to share about my husband who passed away Feb 6, this year. We have been together for 8years and I now realize he already had the disease by then. He was just too smart and I think the misdiagnosis was because he was too smart to be able to mislead or maybe confuse the doctors, I don’ know really. But I think he already had the disease long before the diagnosis which is in August 2017.
Paul Obis Thank you for sharing this beautiful memorial about Paul and for your efforts to bring awareness about LBD to others. I am so sorry that you and Paul did not have more years together, but pleased that you will honor his memory in this way. I, too, am an LBD care partner emeritus involved in advocacy since my husband’s death five years ago. I’d love to know more about the events that you have planned for next year. Have you been in communication with staff at the Lewy Body Dementia Association who would be able to help with your efforts? Also, I moderate an online group (not a Facebook group) for people whose spouses have died of LBD, It is Life after Lewy at https://groups.io/g/LifeafterLewy. We’d love to welcome you to the group.
Those are all great things, Janeen. Rosemary and I volunteer with the LBD Association in various capacities in addition to our own separate work to make a difference in for those living with Lewy, whether with the condition themselves, or as carers. I’m sure you’ll do Paul’s legacy a great service, as you already are. Strength to you!
Hi Janeen, I saw the memorial to Paul. very well done. I am privileged in having the honor of knowing him and being his friend. thank you for including me in the final project. I hope you are well.
I have experienced this horrible disease first hand. My wonderful husband, Max, battled valiantly for years. Fortunately, he was able to be with his family at home. It was the most challenging experience anyone could imagine, yet it was a privilege, albeit terrifically dismaying, to walk with him through this systematic dismantling of a wonderful person. We were continually upheld by our Lord and Savior. JESUS, and family & friends. Life changing, one cannot view life the same way after this illness.
May you be rewarded with peace, provision and renewed energy. I am so very sorry.
My good friend and mentor, Paul Obis, passed away yesterday. Paul was the founder of #VegetarianTimes magazine and one of the most forward thinking, creative and intellectually energetic people I have ever known. Those of us who worked with him at the magazine were fortunate if, for nothing else, to have been exposed to the brilliant and humanitarian force of one man’s particular brand of eccentricity and good will.
Paul was a nurse, the father of six boys, a man of humble heart, unalloyed passion and fearless conviction. He was neither afraid to fail nor was he afraid to change his mind, despite the anger of those who would insist on his remaining on a single track. He started the magazine by printing it in his home, carting the issues around on his bike, selling it to whomever was ready to buy.
When I made a pitch to Paul that he hire me as an editor despite my lack of journalistic experience, he took me on. “Give me three months with no pay and see what you think,” I said, and he did, beating me at my own game by offering to pay for my commute and for child care and, eventually, bringing me on full time. A few years later when my family moved to Malaysia, he kept me on as a roving correspondent and then welcomed me back when I returned. He was kind, trusting, naive and smart and I was humbled by him, always.
And how much fun we had! We interviewed all the veg celebs of the day, from Linda McCartney, Dr. Heimlich of the Heimlich maneuver, the mayor of Bangkok, Francis Moore Lappe, #allieSheedy and #RiverPhoenix . . . anyone who took a stand for animals, the environment or optimum health. We were the darlings at the natural food expos, the best place on earth for ad placements, the magazine of choice for up-and-coming (or established) doctors and writers who wanted their ideas published or their recipes (and recipe books) made famous. By the time I came on staff, in 1985, we were just reaching a paid subscribership of something close to 250,000 readers with thousands more issues published for sale in health food stores and retail outlets.
Yet as much as we were influential we were also intimate; Paul made sure of that, with his goofy humor, his walk-around management style, his interest in our lives and our loves. And we loved him, on most days anyway. Loved his stories, loved his goofiness, loved his wife, loved his generosity, loved the opportunity to be working for one of the great madmen of our times. And he loved us all back #sallyhayhow, Mark Cullen, Greg, Bob, #Jangahala, our darling Judy, Laura Hoemeke, #leeniefolsom, Andy . . .
I love you Paul. Always did, always will. Thank you. Namaste. May you rest in profound peace.
Hi Janeen. Thank you for sharing. I did not know about your husband’s passing. I wrote THE VEGETABLE PASSION about the history of vegetarianism and I think I was actually reviewed by VEGETARIAN TIMES magazine. I will have to check. My Mom died from Lewy Body Dementia in 2012 at the age of 90. She was in excellent health till around 82 and then she got the diagnosis and the next 8 years were a steady, horrific decline. Since you went through it with your husband, you know what that disease is like. My heart goes out to you and your sons. Thank you for bringing awareness about Lewy Body Dementia. It is much less known or understand than Alzheimer’s or Parkinson’s.
Dear Janeen, thanks for your message. Very good that you are open about this and raise the issue of misdiagnosis of lewy body dementia.. I have been working in the Dementia field for 20 years and saw this too often. My uncle also had Lewy Body Dementia but was diagnosed with Alzheimer’s first. He got good care in the Netherlands and passed away three years ago. All the best, Marc
Dear Janeen,
I just read about when you and Paul met and how deep your love was so quickly. Your story is inspiring, joyful and sad all at the same time. Thank you for sharing it.
Really beautiful what you’re doing, Janeen, both in honoring your husband and in educating and encouraging those impacted by Lewy Body and/or Parkinson’s. One of my dearest girlfriends way back to grade school is married to an amazing man who is in late stages of Parkinson’s with Lewy Body Dementia. It’s a tough road, and again thank you for blessing others.
Bless you Janeen, for using Paul’s name and legacy as a springboard to educate the public about LBD.
What a wonderful way to honor Paul Obis who had such an impact on so many people and who was lost to his loved ones much too soon because of Lewy body dementia. Raising awareness about this disease that affects more than 1.4 million people in the US will add to his legacy.
It is my wish,as his wife to share his wonderful life and to bring awareness to Lewy Body Dementia. It is a dreadful disease that is often misdiagnosed.
I’m so sorry to learn of your husband’s death and all you’ve been through. I apologize for reaching out to suggest a presentation in light of his passing. Thank you though for the wonderful reply and all you’re doing to preserve his persona and awareness.
oh my this is the worst disease
Thank you for your message. I am so sorry for your loss. I am not sure if you are familiar with the Bob & Diane Fund or not. I’m a daughter of Alzheimer’s. I work for National Geographic and started a non-profit for Alzheimer’s/dementia. We support photographer’s working on stories related to the disease through visual storytelling and help get them published all over the world. We need to find a cure for all dementias!
Wonderful to “meet” you and my sincere condolences about Paul. I used to read Vegetarian Times so I almost feel as if I know him in some way. Thank you for all you do to raise awareness about lewy body. My grandmother and mother both had Alzheimer’s. I ultimately wrote a book for those caring for a loved one with Alzheimer’s (essentially writing the book I wish I’d had during all my years of caring for my mom). Like you, it’s about paying all they went through forward by raising awareness and educating others. I wish you and your sons the best always.
Thank you for your message. I am sure that you provided him the love, comfort and understanding that he most needed.
So sorry to hear of your loss and difficult travels your husband had to go thru.
I am so sorry to hear about Paul, what he created with Vegetarian Times will live on forever. Really appreciate your note, and your dedication now to raising awareness to the horrible disease, my condolences to you and your family. So sorry :(.
Janeen, I’m so sorry for your loss. I appreciate your message. I didn’t know Paul but am aware of the impact of the magazine. As a therapist, I’ve met people and families affected by lewy body dementia. It’s terrible for Paul and others to go through. Your efforts in his life and now make such a difference. Thank you
I am very sorry for your loss. Thank you for keeping his memory alive and educating people about lewy body dementia. Take care.
Sad. Thank you for sharing, Janeen. I’ve seen much in the more than 20 years working with and supporting families living with dementia and the professionals walk help them. In the late 90s LBD was still on paper and rarely spoken about.
I can’t help but think of the saying “ there are Angels among us “. Truly an Angel who kept his wings. 🌺🌺
Blessings and prayers. I had never heard of this disease before. Peace to your heart. Thank you for letting me know.
I am quite aware of this disease and it’s terrible progression. Paul will surely be in peace, but his ruins are left behind. My sincere condolences and may Paul’s seemingly late diagnosis shine a light on better, speedier, and the sheer hope of early diagnosis NOW!
Thank you, Janeen. Yes, we have many patients with Lewy body dementia, and my father-in-law died with it, as well. The book, Defeating Dementia, from Francis McNear, describes his ordeal. LBD is very common (1 million Americans, approximately), as you know. I am sorry to hear about Paul and your struggles. I look forward to the day when dementia is a rare problem. Best regards, Dale
I didn’t know your husband but i know Well the disease. I diagnose and help families till the end on a daily basis. Unfortunately Doctors are not able to cure this unbearable disease nowadays and hallucinations are in the package no matter the stage in when the diagnose occur. Some drug and attitudes help, sometimes…
As i read your massage i thought you have an awsome soul, extraordinary strenghts and unlimited love for him. You have to be proud of what you have done.
Thank you very much. I’m very sorry for your loss of Paul. I appreciate you sharing this information about this disease and your husband’s story. I will be sure to learn more about Paul’s life from the memorial links you mentioned and work and I hope to help share information about Lewy body dementia with others.
This is so tender…and sad. I am doing what I can to learn more about hashtag#lewybodydementia. It apparently isn’t well-studied or well-known!
Hi Janeen, I’m very sorry to hear what your late husband went through and his passing. This is the first time I’ve heard about lewy body dementia and I will be researching it and sharing it with my staff at Suburban Home Care. Sincerely, Bill
God Bless. Thank you for sharing. My older brother passed away on November 18, 2018. from Lewy Body Dementia. It is the worst way to live and die. God Bless. 🙏💔😔🎚
I’m very sorry for your loss. I am familiar with DLB as a lot of the work by Professor Ian McKeith originated in Newcastle upon Tyne near where I live. I am a mental health nurse by background and dementia with lewy bodies remains one of the most mis diagnosed and misunderstood of illnesses. I am more than happy to raise awareness.
I am with the Sugar Beet Food Co-op. I am so deeply sorry for your loss. The website is a truly beautiful way to create a platform for his memory to live on. Do you know of a local non-profit in the area that supports LBD? I am not sure if you have paid a visit to our store, but our “Beet Bucks” is a great fundraising program and we are happy to accept an application from a local non-profit to help raise awareness and some funds! Thank you for connecting with me.
So sorry to hear of this! My deepest sympathies. I will read it. My father died of Lewy Body Dementia. It’s a horrible disorder. Bless you!
Laugh when you can, apologize when you should,
And let go of what you can’t change.
Kiss slowly, forgive quickly, play hard, take chances,
Give everything and have no regrets.
Life is too short to be anything but happy!
Robin Williams life was a gift and his appeal was universal. We believe the story of what really happened to him is, too. Robin’s Wish is a timely and urgent biography of the much beloved Robin Williams that weaves together the untold love story of his third marriage, his untimely suicide, his rare neurological illness, and his universal experience moving through pain in the search for healing and joy. hashtag#lewybodyawareness hashtag#robinwilliams hashtag#lewybodydementia.
I just read the web site http://www.paulobis.com He sounds like a wonderful man. I like the statement of extraordinary in ordinary. I wish I had the good fortune of meeting him. Please get in touch Janeen
At first we thought my dad had Parkinson’s. He had a slight tremor which became more pronounced. He had falls. Both in the house and in the city where he worked. But his doctor sent him to a neurologist who ruled out Parkinsons. They sent him to another specialist who did other testing — and he got the Lewy body diagnosis.
Most people with Lewy Body feel depression, anxiety, and sometimes fear. The really need to know they are not alone. That is my mission to get the word out there, that they have a disease just like any other and they do not need to feel embarrased or alone. I want to see the stigma attached to Demetia and Alzheimer’s disappear.
Beautiful family. God must have needed a Special Angel in Heaven to watch over us..
We are so sorry for your loss. We so admire the work Paul accomplished and the incredible impact he made on the food industry. He will be missed, and his legacy will certainly live on.
I’m so sorry and had no idea he had passed away. I was a big fan of VT and his since I was 19 years old. So sad. I am sorry for your loss .😢😢😢
I can’t help but think of the saying “ there are Angels among us “. Truly in Angel who kept his wings. 🌺🌺
The 1928 greystone had been renovated to include a modern kitchen and bathroom, but the home lacked a certain charm, which Janeen set about restoring. Paul, who admits not knowing how he would go about choosing a light fixture like the bright glass one that lights up the entryway, gives Janeen all the credit.
“My wife is, by profession, an interior designer,” Paul said. “This used to be a bachelor pad. Nothing exciting, just functional. Once we decided to live together, she’s been transformational.”
Inspired by the work of famed glass artist Dale Chihuly, the pair showed Curran a picture of a wall of Chihuly’s glass-blown flowers for inspiration. Curran filed away his original drawings and started over to create a less traditional piece.
“I started out with a black line drawing. I really wanted the skeleton to be the good thing and then bring in the color later. The Chihuly work they showed me was so full, the first window I created turned out more like that — more condensed. In the second window, we opened it up and let it breathe a little more.”
Curran says a lot of the vibrantly colored glass used in the two large windows were pieces he’d been holding onto for years but was unable to use because the bright colors didn’t fit into his typical commissions.
According to Paul, trusting Curran was a big part of the success of the project.
“We had some pre-existing ideas about art windows,” he said, “but in the end, we hired an artist, and we gave him free rein.”
The towering windows not only block the unsightly wall of the neighbor’s home, but imbue the room with warmth and light. Janeen believes the windows are a perfect expression of her relationship with Paul.
“Paul and I did not meet until three years ago, later in life. With nine grown children between us, we fell madly in love. John [Curran] really created our story in these windows.”
And a very creative solution to neighborhood claustrophobia.
Such a touching image of Paul’s goodbye. You certainly gave him a wonderful and peaceful sendoff.
It was strange to see Paul in bed, because in his youth, he did not sleep very much. I worked lots of nights in the OR on call and Paul told me all the time that I was spending way too much time in bed. It seemed like I was either working or sleeping-not much of a life. Paul usually got up early in the morning and you could hear him banging away on his little blue manual typewriter. It was the same story in the evening – Paul typing away.
There was a locally produced show done by a Chicago TV station, I think it might have been WGN. Paul communicated with the host, Bob Smith, (Yep that was his real name!) Anyhow the TV station wanted to do a feature on a vegetarian pot luck supper Paul was hosting in our Oakdale apartment. These were the days before video tape and the show was done on 16mm film. The lighting, batteries, relay boxes, and cameras occupied the entire landing outside the apartment. It was quite a production.
Paul, encouraged by his local success, wrote Johnny Carson and proposed a segment for his show where he taught CPR on a mannequin, Resci-Annie. We never heard back from Johnny, but Paul plodded on getting the vegetarian message out there.
First of all, my deepest condolences. Sounds like Paul was an incredible human.
Truly and angel sent to earth and now he is home.
I think of you often and just want to know you’re okay. I finally sat down this week and spent a good amount of time getting to know Paul through the interactive site. What a very interesting man! You two had to have been made for each other! Hope your happy, warm memories have replaced some of your sorrow.
Lewy Body Dementia is simply awful. My dad suffered from it— he died 12 years ago. He was a brilliant trial attorney and law professor. We knew something was wrong when all his newspapers and law journals started piling up, and he started getting lost while driving. He also developed a tremor but was cleared for Parkinson’s, only to get a LBD diagnosis. My heart goes out to all of you and especially to Paul. My best to all of you.
LBD is a God-awful disease. I had never heard of it until my Dad developed it nearly 15 years ago. He was a brilliant attorney and he stopped reading, journals and newspapers piled up in his study. He developed a tremor and fell periodically. He didn’t talk much. After he got the diagnosis he continued to decline, both body and mind. He no longer recognized any of us, couldn’t walk, and died two years later. It’s a terrible diagnosis for both patient and their families.😢
I do not know Paul but I feel I have gotten to know him through your posts. My dad suffered and died of Lewy Body Dementia nearly 15 years ago. It is a most despicable, cruel disorder.
Thank you! I know it is a lonely holiday for you, but you are helping all of us remember Paul and understand more about LBD.
yes, knew Paul I was married to James Tenuta who was a clown on the cover of VT with our son JP as a baby. My older sons, the Prost boys lived next door to Paul and kids in the Heurtley House in Forest Avenue.
I love reading about Paul and learning about him! I’m so sorry he had to be inflicted by such a cruel disease.
So glad he had a death like that ❤️ I think most us would want that, at home, dignified, someone we love with us
Paul Obis Had no idea you have some form of LBD for 20 years prior to diagnosis. It is a brutally cruel disorder—one of the worst I’ve ever known. Thanks for sharing all you do!❤️
Three nights before Paul died. He had a fever and was moaning in pain. The nurse was here and I demanded that he give Paul more morphine. He said that he wouldn’t – so I got on the phone to call the doctor to tell her what was going on – she demanded that Paul get relief, thus what I am saying is as wife/caretaker – you have to be vigilante and forceful to get the best care and love for your LBD husband. Thank God he was able to heave a painless and peaceful death.
Oh, how I hate Lewy body dementia. I know what you mean. It robbed my brilliant father of his mind, his body, just everything. Reduced to nothingness.😢
You are so right and I’m so sorry for your loss !! As a former nurse before being diagnosed 8 yrs ago and having had to watch this disease destroy piece by piece of my life it’s become a great concern to the medical world why this disease has taken no priority at all over other illnesses . As I look back now while nursing, I’ve cared for MANY ” diagnosed ” dementia patients that a percentage of I’m almost certain had Lewy body instead. When “memory loss”and disorientation is mentioned it is so much easier to diagnose them with dementia instead of actually searching further and able to treat them properly if the diagnosis is Lewy Body . I do understand, ( especially from experience) most doctors dont have a clue about Lewy body. I cant tell you how many times I’ve been in ER and the paramedics and then the ER doctors had to research it to see what it was . Me , being a RN had no idea what it was when I was diagnosed and did the very same thing ! It’s time to stop alot of the effects that comes along with LBD that with proper treatment could increase the quality of Life for us battling day by day with what seems like no life much at all. When your desire in life is for God to spare you from facing another day in this body then it’s time that our voice is heard by those with the ability to make that statement a statement in the past before change was made !! God bless every effort ! Theres none to big or to small !!
Where there was deep love there is deep grief.
My wife chose not to know anything about the disease. This was the first time we couldn’t join together to work through the diagnosis. We had been through so many other exhausting chalenges and onto b the next. This battle was one way and she was blind sided by it. I kept trying to help with understanding what was happening. Her acknowledgment is what right up up her death was missing. Very difficult to totally process in my mind. But I believe in her mind. It wasn’t allowing the focus, like all of the other sicknesses of the past. As the saying goes two minds are better than one. I lost my wife two weeks ago so I’m still processing the whole journey.
You wrote this so eloquently and got each of the main feeling spot on. I too an the caregiver of my wife and just lost her to LBD. I’m left kind of in shock, kind of wondering why am I not screaming and in tears, with a bit of guilt. I look back over the last year where we found out and her decline. What we go through in the time frame is the equivalent of a daily greaving process and loss right before our eyes. No one would understand it like the caregiver. I feel you pain and know we comfort each other by expressing it here. Your words are like gold to my ear because you get it! This process took part of me with her and maybe I’ll retrieve some back but I’ll never be who I was a year ago. We thank you for every word you wrote, God bless.
In 2015, Lewy Body Dementia–a disease that long stood in the shadows of Alzheimer’s Disease–found itself in the national spotlight when actor Robin Williams was reported to have had the disease.
Descriptions of the nature of Lewy Body Dementia are as numerous as the disease is complicated–for both the individual who has been diagnosed with the disease and those who are involved in caregiving. LBD is a degenerative neurological disease with a variety of symptoms that become present over time. Some symptoms overlap with those of Parkinson’s Disease. Both diseases evolve from the aggregation of misshapen deposits of alpha-synuclein within the tissue of the brain.
Reports vary based upon sampling technique and location, but it is believed that 1.4 million people in the United States, who are mostly 50 years or older, have Lewy Body Dementia.
We believe that this statistic is understated as the cluster of symptoms that define LBD often take years to evolve. As a result, many individuals are often incorrectly diagnosed unless they continue to be re-evaluated and/or their diagnosticians are familiar with this disease.
When you were together you seemed to be in your own world, on a cloud somewhere, floating together, enjoying the presence of each other. I remember the way you gazed at each other at the Thai restaurant the last time we all went out together, and there was a shimmering light there, a palpable deep connection, a sense that there was no place you’d rather be than sitting next to each other, smiling. That kind of fun — spiritual and emotional and profound.
He was a great simple guy – I adored him for that, but he could always take it out of the box and think higher. On our first date we went to the Reagan Museum -(I am not a republican) but my date was able to see between the lines. Then we went to Venice Beach and he took all of his clothes off and jumped into the water – I stood there and my heart sort of gulped- wow he is 62 years old and he has so much life and kindness.
Paul loved his home in Oak Park but the winter weather in Chicago was too dangerous for his walking in the winter. We decided to go somewhere warm for the winter. We chose California rather than Florida. One month after getting here – he started having seizures. I became a service dog and could tell when they were going to happen. Thus there was no choice to go back to Chicago, we had to develop our medical support in Los Angeles. We had to sell the house in Oak Park which was very hard on Paul – The Lewy Body Dementia Experience is lethal physically and emotionally. We took all the Chicago furniture to LA and he became comfortable because it looked like home. He was able to die at home just not Oak Park. #paulobis #vegetariantimes #lewybodydementia.www.paulobis.com
I hope you are doing well on this difficult day for you during these strange pandemic times. I sometimes wonder what words of wisdom Paul would have offered during these life changing times. I’m certain he would have come up with something unique and insightful to put a positive spin on the way things are evolving. He always had a way of finding that ray of light in the darkness.
He was very handsome
Cherish your memories
Paul was extraordinarily generous. He had boundless energy and positive thought which he said
was influenced by Clement Stone. He hated to hurt anyone’s feelings. He loved everyone. Now he is more with God than ever
before, I believe.
Thank you Janeen for your love in his life and for this beautiful website
I absolutely love get to know him through these stories 💝💝💝💝. Hugs my friend💝💝
Paul died on June 25,2018. Thus every month on the 25th day
I Visit his final resting place. …
Release butterflies. …
Write a letter, poem or blog. …
Play his favourite song. …
Hold a special remembrance ceremony. …
Take time out….
Express loving sentiments with flowers. … Paul loved white roses so I get a dozen….and the room smells like him,
Take a seat, and feel so glad that he is not in pain anymore.
Hugs my friend💝💝💝. Thank you for sharing how you continue to honor and remember him💝💝
A friend of Paul’s asked me to give him a list of all the good parts of his life after he died. Below is what I came up with.
Regarding Paul:
1. Good parts of his life
A. knowing Fred Rogers
B. Having 6 sons
C. Creating Vegetarian Times
D. Loving and being so generous with his family, mother, and father.
E. Being such an attentive father.
F. Being so driven and unique.
G. Having high energy.
H. I feel marrying me was a good move because I genuinely love him and his sons – and in the last five years I have been totally devoted to him and his health care. We were married November 8, 2014 in Chicago at 1:16 p.m. We were lucky enough to have had a great love – it is and was truly beautiful. It was like we sat on a star. #paulobis #vegetariantimes #lewybodydementia.wwwpaulobis.com
“I am deeply moved by The Vegan Museum’s decision to name their digital Story Map chronicling the history of vegetarianism in Illinois in honor of my late husband and Chicago native, Paul Luty Obis,” said Obis’ widow, Janeen Obis, fighting back tears of joy upon being informed of the Museum’s decision. “He was such a precious, giving, compassionate hero and an inspiration. He touched so many people — me being one of them — and I am forever grateful. He was a long-time voice of progressive thinking, living and ideals and this honor will stand as a testament to the fact that his life made a difference, which he always wanted to do. My heartfelt thanks to the Museum’s board of directors for this wonderful honor.”
Paul and I would play random games of “Name that Tune of music in the 60’s and 70’s”. Amazingly after the humming, he would break into the lyrics. He knew everyone of them. He certainly had a gifted and creative mind.#paulobis #vegetariantimes #lewybodydementia. wwwpaulobis.com
In the middle of the Lewy Body Dementia, if Paul had a good day, I would let go for small walks alone because we lived in a gated community and if appeared lost they would always bring him home. By being alone, he felt independent and a man. One day he did get out of the community and went to a flower shop close by. He walked into the shop and wanted the largest vase of pink flowers there. The arrangement was $120.00 and Paul only had $65.00. The shop owner accepted his $65.00 -and he struggled home because of the weight and size of the flowers. But he made it and he was so proud – I cried when I saw them because of his pride and how hard he had worked bringing them home. And, I thought about of the kindness of strangers to my husband – especially the florist. #paulobis #vegetariantimes #lewybodydementia.www.paulobis.com
Paul wrote the statement below one week before he died. “Since selling Vegetarian Times 10 years ago I have wondered what I could do to make the world a better place. I feel that God has given me many gifts and I have a great life for which I remain grateful My sons are all good people. I love my wife and I am grateful for the many friends that I have. I am in excellent health but have wanted to do more to bring about peace in the world and want to make the world a better place.”
That is some statement. Sounds like Paul was an extraordinary man. I’m very sorry you lost him so young. My father suffered from Lewy Body Dementia and passed 13 years ago. It was a difficult journey. My best to you.
And he did make a difference.. May his legacy live on . R.I.P
It’s a cruel and terrible disease. I’m glad you two had wonderful times together as well.
This is so sad. Lewey body is just a horrific disease. So sorry.
Lewy body dementia that’s tough. Bless his soul for having to go through that RIP
So sad. Loved him
Amen! We must always look for the blessings.
I did not know Paul. I honestly don’t know how I ended up following this page. But I’ve been reading your posts for a while now and just wanted to say thank you for sharing yours and Paul’s story.
I’ve learned about Lewy body dementia. But I’ve learned more about your love for each other.
May we all be treated with and surrounded by this much love when it’s our time to go
Two weeks before Paul died, I placed white roses in our room as they were his favorite flower, played soft music, read poems to him, had a priest come over to administer communion and listened to him cry and try to explain the good and bad things he had done. He made peace with God.
How lovely. Hold those precious memories close. I’m sorry for your long goodbye and loss. (I was fortunate to enjoy the beautiful spaces at The Cliff Dwellers in October 2019 during Chicago Architectural Center’s Open House Chicago weekend.)
I feel like my husband’s safety dog too. We had an upsetting issue come up yesterday. Our church wants me to work in the nursery and leave my 8 children’s side and husband on the other who I look after to make sure he’s doing okay. I declined and they are upset. I think it’s time to look for another church. I needed to see your post today!
May his love and light continue forever
Dear Janeen, certainly a full life filled with much love.
This is fantastic. What great memories you have. Paul did a lot for we vegans and vegetarians. I’ll always remember him and Vegetarian Times.
Paul Obis August 13, 1951 – June 25, 2018. Of how I wish we had the ability to make lewy body dementia in the medical forefront, to help the persons with it and their families, and most of all find a cure.
May his memory continue to be a blessing
Tom & I miss your visits and calls to the Northwoods. RIP Dear Friend.
I’m so sorry for the loss of your beloved husband. May his legacy, love of life, and memories live on in you and your family. My sincere thoughts are with you, too.
Funny, I was actually a VT (Vegetarian “Veggie” Times) magazine subscriber in high school! And here I’m talking to the wife of the man who built an empire while breaking down walls. He taught me a whole new world, Janeen; a world of ethics, compassion, life within, food knowledge, how it was made/processed (aka factory farming), etc.. With that, my love and compassion for animals is why I turned vegan…and never went back.
just wanted to say I am so sorry for your tremendous loss!!!! What a beautiful tribute you’ve created to his memory, and I’ve no doubt it is extraordinarily meaningful to all those who knew him. I’ve never seen such a timeline done….what an exquisite idea! And Peter’s letter leaves even a stranger feeling they have a sense of the love and kindness Paul brought to the world! I lost my son 6 years ago, and I KNOW how important it is to stay connected…to the people, to the memories, to the values those we love had. I know this is a particularly difficult time for you…you are in the midst of all those “firsts”…first birthday, first anniversary, first holidays, etc. In my mind, I used to mentally “gear up” for each and every one and try to make the best I could of each of them. Then when the day passed, I’d breathe a sigh of relief that I’d made it through. For the most part, I’ve looked at every day as a day my son was deprived of, so I’d better make the best of it…for both of us! I know he’s with me, in every fiber of my being…as do his loving wife and children. Keeping them alive in our memories make going on much more tolerable.
I wish you healing! Know you are not alone. My guess is you have friends and family around you…LET THEM be there for you, however you need them to be. Sometimes we are very good at offering help, not so good at accepting help. From what the site says about your husband, there is no doubt in my mind he would be whispering in your ear to ACCEPT THE LOVE, whenever and however it is offered. This is your time for healing. Six years in, I can tell you that, while the pain never goes away, and I can be moved to tears at the most unusual times, it does get more tolerable. And Paul would certainly have wanted JOY to be a major part of your life…even now. Maybe especially now! So seek the joy!
You sent a response to PBNM.org (Plant Based Nutrition Movement) introducing your husband’s story, and I maintain all the correspondence and marketing for PBNM.org. That’s why I responded to you.
As to connecting me with your friend at FOK, that’s fine! I know SO MANY people who have been impacted by that documentary (not the least of which is Dr Steven Lome, the Cardiologist who started PBNM after himself discovering FOK quite by accident and changing his own life and health trajectory! The FOK folks already know all about him…they even profiled him on their site.
My beloved soulmate Mom has LBD, and I am her caregiver. I am suffering extreme and overwhelming grief.
Paul Obis and Janeen Swing Obis know a thing or two about reinvention.Inspired by the work of famed glass artist Dale Chihuly, to block the view of neighbors brick walls.
The towering windows not only block the unsightly wall of the neighbor’s home, but imbue the room with warmth and light. Janeen believes the windows are a perfect expression of her relationship with Paul.
“Paul and I did not meet until three years ago, later in life. With nine grown children between us, we fell madly in love. John [Curran] really created our story in these windows.” #paulobis #vegetariantimes #lewybodydementia. http://www.paulobis.com
My mother perished from this. It is a long gut wrenching journey for all concerned. Hugs to you all.
Vegetarian Times founder Paul Obis dies at 66. After 20 years vegetarian he went back to eating meat occasionally, but it’s undeniable he played a key role in popularizing vegetarianism in the ’70s and ’80s.
Paul Obis a man of extraordinary charisma, generosity, energy & compassion,
founder with omniloving spirit & brilliant artist of Vegetarian Times, father of 6 sons, was an apostle of positive thought proven by countless actions including starting VT at age 25
Our group is 1 of countless groups people & animals he helped. He died in June. God bless you Paul for all you did & will continue to do. Our hearts go out to Janeen, his sons and their wives, all his loved ones.
Being Paul’s caregiver is the highest expression of potency. In the very act of giving, I experienced my strength, my wealth, my power. This experience of heightened vitality and potency fills me with joy. I experience myself as overflowing, spending, alive, hence as joyous. The greatest gift Paul gave me was to help him go home.
My mom had Alzheimers, which I know is totally different than LBD. Some residents in her care home had LBD, so I witnessed some real angst. I feel for you. Caregiving is not for the faint of heart. Bless you.
I had exactly that experience not long before my wife passed. I caught me off guard. I was trying to understand what she must be feeling/thinking. It had to be confusing and frightening for her.
Bless you Janeen, for using Paul’s name and legacy as a springboard to educate the public about LBD.
Sorry for your loss, I read the magazine many times.
Passing stranger! You do not know how longingly I look upon you,
You must be he I was seeking, or she I was seeking, (it comes to me as of a dream,)
I have somewhere surely lived a life of joy with you,
All is recall’d as we flit by each other, fluid, affectionate, chaste, matured,
You grew up with me, were a boy with me or a girl with me,
I ate with you and slept with you, your body has become not yours only nor left my body mine only,
You give me the pleasure of your eyes, face, flesh, as we pass, you take of my beard, breast, hands, in return,
I am not to speak to you, I am to think of you when I sit alone or wake at night alone,
I am to wait, I do not doubt I am to meet you again, I am to see to it that I do not lose you
I walk with you and share your grief. My husband was diagnosed with Early onset Alzheimer’s and Lewy Body in 2017, with symptoms before that. We lost him on 8/31/21 at 69. It was a very long goodbye and I feel I’ve lost him twice. Too young, and too amazing my loving wonderful husband. I am so thankful for our 40 years together.🙏🏾
“Heaven left a hole in your heart.
But it’s up to you to choose if that hole will be filled with pain, anger, and the eternal darkness of loss . . .
Or if you will choose to fill it with light and love and have that hole shine out of you like a spotlight into your life, keeping their memory alive . . .
A Letter from Heaven:
Hi. It’s me. I just wanted to drop you a line to let you know I’m okay.
And yes it’s really me.
The strangest part about my passing is I don’t feel gone from you. I do hear you talk to me, and most of the time I’m just trying to get you to feel my presence. I also smile when you keep asking me for signs that you ask me to send to you. I promise they will come when you least expect it. I really do try really hard to send to you.
Please stop saying you can’t feel me. When I see you laugh, it vibrates through my being and I smile too. Feelings like guilt, anger, regret, and immense sadness sometimes build a barrier between us. Everyone grieves differently however, my hope is that the signs I send help take the edge off, even for a quick moment. So please don’t be sad .
I would love for you to try harder to let go of those heavy layers that put the weight of the world on your shoulders. I might actually be able to come to you more easily. Finding the balance between “feeling it to heal it” and being stuck in it is a fine line. I honor how you grieve. Always
No, you couldn’t have saved me. No, you shouldn’t have done more. Yes, you made the right decision. I realize now that this earthly experience is all about finding our way back to love. All the rest is just part of the tough journey we call, “Life.” Thank you for letting me be your teacher.
Until we meet again, promise me that you will love with all your heart, forgive in ways you thought not possible, release anger that no longer serves you, and slide into home plate saying, “I did it! I lived for you. I honor your memory by finding joy again.”
I’m still the same person I was before my time came to a close. I still feel, hear, listen and I’m forever around you but it saddens me to watch you cry and hurt so much.
Please know I love you always. Look at the stars or look over the clouds that is where I’ll be. So for now hold on to our memories and let them bring you nothing but smiles.
Love you always & Forever
The way you talk about him is beautiful’ so easy to tell how loved he was. He will still always have your back
What a beautiful tribute to your tenderness, love and devotion to your dear Paul, Janeen
Janeen,
I just wanted to say I am so sorry for your tremendous loss!!!! What a beautiful tribute you’ve created to his memory, and I’ve no doubt it is extraordinarily meaningful to all those who knew him. I’ve never seen such a timeline done….what an exquisite idea! And Peter’s letter leaves even a stranger feeling they have a sense of the love and kindness Paul brought to the world! I lost my son 6 years ago, and I KNOW how important it is to stay connected…to the people, to the memories, to the values those we love had. I know this is a particularly difficult time for you…you are in the midst of all those “firsts”…first birthday, first anniversary, first holidays, etc. In my mind, I used to mentally “gear up” for each and every one and try to make the best I could of each of them. Then when the day passed, I’d breathe a sigh of relief that I’d made it through. For the most part, I’ve looked at every day as a day my son was deprived of, so I’d better make the best of it…for both of us! I know he’s with me, in every fiber of my being…as do his loving wife and children. Keeping them alive in our memories make going on much more tolerable.
I wish you healing! Know you are not alone. My guess is you have friends and family around you…LET THEM be there for you, however you need them to be. Sometimes we are very good at offering help, not so good at accepting help. From what the site says about your husband, there is no doubt in my mind he would be whispering in your ear to ACCEPT THE LOVE, whenever and however it is offered. This is your time for healing. Six years in, I can tell you that, while the pain never goes away, and I can be moved to tears at the most unusual times, it does get more tolerable. And Paul would certainly have wanted JOY to be a major part of your life…even now. Maybe especially now! So seek the joy!
Ramona Rapp King commented on your post: “It is great to hear about that special relationship. Thank you for sharing. Hugs…”
So sorry for lost.
I used to cry when I thought of our good memories but now it gives me smiles. It gives me the courage to go on by remembering how blessed I was to have such a experience.
Hold to those beautiful memories.
We all will make it.
One day at a time.
I love your list, Janeen, I especially enjoyed picturing you dancing together in a museum. How very blessed we are to have known such love 💘
What a wonderful idea, thank you for sharing your very precious list, and for suggesting it! Paul was a very special man, and your love for each other is so obviously tender, deep and forever.
I’m so sorry for your loss, as well as the loss of his kindness and contributions to society. Besides a wonderful husband, he was an effective influence for good on this planet. We could use more like him. Of course I realize the personal loss is by far the deepest – and I wish I didn’t relate to that.
Hi, Janeen. I am a member in the Lewy Body group. I just wanted to say, that I appreciate all of your posts about your husband. The love that you have for him shines through and every word that you write. I’m so sorry that he had to go through this terrible illness, and I am so sorry for your loss. I know that I don’t know you at all, and I never knew your husband. But, I want you to know that I love that the two of you shared, is evident and it is warming to me.
There are good days for lewy body patients. I found the following email last night that he wrote 2 months before he died I was amazed at how lucid he was. “Since my sale of Vegetarian Times 10 years ago I have wondered what I could do do to promote world peace. I’ve always wanted to publish a free magazine that will be on high gloss paper stock encourage people to love one another and get along. I have been blessed with a great life, good sons and a great wife and want to do something to promote peace and respect
After 10 years of thinking about it and engaging in volunteer activities, I think that I have come up with an answer that will promote peace and make the world a better place. This is something I want to do foe the rest of my life. I will need your prayers and financial support. because starting a free, new magazine is a financial burden that could probably never pay back.
I believe that I can make the world a better place because I am sincere and dedicated to the cause of making the world a better place by encouraging others to open their hearts to others. I have a lot of great friends who love me because I love them. They understand that I am a compassionate man who usually puts the needs of others before his own and is generous and compassionate.
Someone should take on his dream as a tribute.
One morning Paul got up and said “Let’s go get our wedding licensee.” We both scurried around the house to dress, got into the car and drove to the court house. We stood there like teenagers (out of a Normn Rockwell painting) and signed our credentials. We went out to the hallway and he leaned down and passionated kissed me – saying that it affected him much more than he thought it would. We went to the car and he had timed thin cans to the number and put them in the trunk. He opened the trunk and the cans came out and we drove for over an hour being newlyweds. It was delightful
Eight years ago today, Paul had orchestrated a minister and an arts club on Michigan Avenue in Chicago to go for our marriage ceremony. He e mailed family and friends who could come last minute to celebrate our union as Paul and Janeen Obis. The union occured last 1:00 pm. and then we all sat down to lunch. It was so festive, spontaneous and gay. After the lunch, since we were in downtown Chicago – we decided to go from pub to pub and tell the waiter that we had just married. We had a wedding reception in five pubs….cake and champagne – and many congratulatory sayings. Chicago is the best! What a beautiful and wonderful day, Paul orchestrated – he had that creative and spontaneous ability. Then, Lewy Body Dementia hit us a couple of years later – thank god I have these memories to sustain and keep the beauty of this man that I’m very grateful to call my husband. Happy Anniversary Paul. #paulobis #vegetariantimes #lewybodydementia #janeenobis http://www.paulobis.com
I’m so sorry you’re dealing with all of this. And happy that you had such profound love in your life. Paul was an exceptional man.
My beautiful husband passed peacefully this afternoon with me by his side. We have never known such pain. We loved each other beyond words. My last months with him I consider almost sacred as our love together was so fulfilled. My last day was with him yesterday. I have never experienced such fruition of our love for one another and oneness. You were the best part of my life. You always saw the best in things and I know this will carry into myself.
Being in the role of acaregiver is so challenging but I missed it after my husband passed away because it meant there was no longer anything else that I could do for him
Sounds like a beautiful loving soul. Thank you for sharing him with us. So very sorry for your loss
Aaaawww so sweet. And he sounds like someone who understood how the basic struggles, like the laundry, take away your spirit and deplete you. A man with empathy. Your man. ❤️ I lost my beloved husband to dementia. I was his sole caregiver. We did it together. Love did it.
This is very sad news, and it must be very difficult for you to see Paul decline as you have described. I have been thinking about the question you asked – how Paul and his work might be honored – a lot. One thought is some kind of annual award given in his name. It could be for the best writing on the topic of vegetarianism or something related for the prior year. Or perhaps for a fellowship of some kind for study in the area. The topic of vegetarianism has grown to include issues beyond personal well-being – a plant food diet is now clearly related to climate, sustainability, and political stability issues world-wide. If the award honored writing, it could be administrated depending on whether the intended audience for the writing was an academic audience or a more general audience. I think the connection between Paul and educating people about the topic of vegetarianism is where his legacy will prevail, and honoring that annually would be meaningful and inspiring.
At St. Brigid Catholic Church, the Rev. Kenneth Keke preaches that the gospel of Jesus Christ is not only about eternity, but about “having a human face, loving one another.” Keke’s message stresses unity and that a “common humanity is what we need for us to live in peace.”
“That is liberation theology and that is what we preach here,” said Keke, the St. Brigid priest from Nigeria.
This is the South Central Los Angeles church where 22-year-old Amanda Gorman, the youngest inaugural poet in U.S. history, grew up singing in the youth choir, taking her sacraments and reciting her poetry. I had a Memorial Mass there in his memorial on Father’s Day 2019. We use to go to that church often -it was always a celebration of life, humanity, graciousness. Paul and I would often dance when we were at mass. #paulobis #vegetariantimes #lewybodydementia http://www.paulobis.com
And the times that you stumble, the times that you fall,
I’ll make sure there’s someone to answer your call.
And when you are dizzy, scared and alone,
I’ll make sure that kindness and compassion is shown.
When I recently asked you what life had been?
you looked at me sadly and said ordinary.
But I will make sure though the best of you’s gone,
that together we create a legacy that’s strong.
So as comprehension is the last thing to go,
I hope you can hear me, I pray that you know,
It is now that I carry you. #paulobis #vegetariantimes #janeenobis #lewybodydementia. http://www.paulobis.com
At the end of your life, you will never regret not having passed one more test, not winning one more verdict or not closing one more deal. …
In the end, it’s not the years in your life that count. …
It’s not what you have at the end of life, it’s what you leave behind that matters
I learned a simple intervention from one of my husband’s caregivers. When my husband asked her “who are all these people in the room behind you?” she replied, “I don’t know because sometimes you’re able to see things that I can’t, but whatever they are doing here, you’re safe and I’m with you as well.” This allows for the reality that you can’t see what they see, but also doesn’t judge or correct the person’s perceptions. Saying, “you’re able” to do something is even somewhat empowering. People with LBD have lost so much. Being told they are able to do something we can’t is just plain nice. I realized this when I was able to use this response with my husband. When he asked me about something he was seeing, I asked him, with a smile on my face, “I’m not sure what you’re seeing. Are you maybe using your super-powers to see things that I can’t?” He got a satisfied almost proud smile on his face and nodded knowingly, “I think I am.” It all remained playful and soon that hallucination became irrelevant. Often, when the hallucination is not starting off as frightening, taking a calm, gentle approach can work to dispel the situation. It respects the person’s subjective reality, which is more likely to keep them calm. And often the person will become distracted and move on. At other times it’s not a bad thing to just let it ride itself out. My husband once informed me, “I’ve been having such a fun time recently, playing with the little children.” I realized that in fact, he had been hallucinating little children lately and frankly I was glad he was enjoying it!
It is so important to get this message out about Lewy Body. This disease has stolen so many beautiful minds. I use to call my Paul the Rain Man, because he was so smart. Before diagnosis, he did not know whaat was going on but I could subtly see the changes. Many tests were done. It took two years to just get a Parkinson’s diagnosis and another year for LBD. It is a devastating disease, but at least we knew what was going on and fight it the best way we could.
I can feel the true love story that life with your Paul was. You were lucky to have each other.
How beautiful. You were blessed to have each other, even if your time was cut short. Sounds like you had a relationship that many never find in their lifetimes. My husband and I are in same boat. I have a really bad neck. He of course possibly has LBD. So he always says we make one person because he has to handle a lot of the physical stuff and I have to handle a lot of the mental stuff. Did you meet in your 60’s or before? Regardless, what a great love story!
This is a beautiful story and just beginning my journey. My husband was diagnosed in June at Mayo Clinic. If I may ask how long have you been on this journey? My husband can still do a long of things and go places so I’m trying to get something on my bucket 🪣 list done. I retired 2 years ago and he came out in medical leave from work.
Janeen, LBD is an awful disease. My friend’s wife died from it and he cared for her at home for 3 years. I went back and read your previous posts and Paul was truly an amazing guy and you were an amazing partner and caregiver. I’m confident the documentary will celebrate his life- a beautiful tribute. I wish you the best.
Consider the richness of what you both had together. I know we feel cheated and have this loss. Sometimes it is just this memory that has us proud that we even got to experience it once. Oh if only…..
My husband passed with Progressive super nuclear palsy. It’s also one of the prime of Life diseases including Lewy Body dementia. One of the sad parts there’s so many people are misdiagnosed or diagnosed so late. Such a horrible diseases and you’re right bringing attention is a big deal. So sorry for your losses.
It,s like watching someone with LBD disintegrate, the man, who was my mate and husband for 60 years
One of the best things that I did for Paul’s end of life journey was to fly his 6 sons and their wives to Los Angeles, 5 months before he died. We went to Hotel Casa Del Mar and we stayed for 5 days right on the beach. All sons had their own rooms. Paul and I had a suite so that we could have soirees in our room. Paul was so happy. He seemed to come alive. They would go to swim, play frisbee, play baseball, swim, eat dinners and lunches – it was a beautiful and poignant experience. It felt like a living funeral, I was fortunate to be able to afford the experience but even if I could not – I would have done it in our apartment and figured it out. It was that important that Paul have a pure end of life experience – his sons were that important to him. The following month he went into hospice. #paulobis #vegetariantimes #lewybodydementia. http://www.paulobis.com
Paul had a very dry sense of humor – similar to Johnny Carson. A woman came to cut Paul’s hair one day, and Paul refused it and said “oh hell Janeen, let the undertaker do it.” I laughed because of his quick wit even with Lewy Body Dementia, but I also realized that he knew he was dying. That made me sad because I knew that he knew he was dying. He handled that whole experience with such graciousness.
It’s so obvious, you two had a deep love, that many don’t ever experience. I’m so sorry for your loss.
Hello Janeen. I am really sorry to get this news. And it’s hard to think about this world being without Paul’s sweetness and presence. I know this must be painful, and I wish you strength. Please let me know if there are any services planned for Chicago. Thanks Janeen. Best, Tom
By all accounts, Janeen Obis was at the center of Paul Obis’s heart; she was his rock, a soul mate he discovered late in life. “Finding the love of his life … really did supply something that had been missing, and it showed”
Paul’s humor was evident even with lewy body dementia. The barber came to cut his hair one day. Paul did not want it done. Hey said to me “Oh hell Janeen, just let the undertaker do it. Naturally I laughed because he was right!
“Only the body dies.
Love never dies.
When all that remains of me is love,
Give me away.
Thus I return to you
And remain with you always.”
“in this earth
in this earth
in this immaculate field
we shall not plant any seeds
except for compassion
except for love”